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A Deer, A Chinaman, and a Receptionist Walk Into A Bar
Wednesday, Jul. 10, 2002 - 9:69 PM
Pop the tape in at Monday. Keri and I went for a walk two days ago. We were walking along, minding our business, when a deer crossed the road. We live in a suburban part of Maryland. We don't wear overalls and chew on long stems of grass. We do not have a lazy river running through our back yard. Our cars do not sit in our backyard on cinderblocks. I do not have an Uncle Dad. And somehow this deer has found a place near us to live. I don't recall the Homeowner's Association asking about deer living in our neighborhood. Not that I would, since I'm a slacker and still live with my parents. But they didn't mention the Homeowner's Association asking them, either. So we were like, "Huh. Weird." And then this other deer is standing over where the first one just ran from. And by standing, I mean running. And by running, I mean charging. Us. These circumstances were odd, in deed. Due to these odd circumstances, we decided to turn around and walk home. So we did. Fast foward to yesterday. My dad and I went to the post office. The postman had to tape something to something. I wasn't really paying attention to what. We'd stood in line for like 20 min. This is the conversation that ensued: (Man uses pen to poke scotch tape to tear a piece off) Dad: Cutter's broken, huh? Man: Yes, sir. Dad: Heh heh... give it the old karate chop, huh? Man: (Ignores Dad). This wouldn't have been so bad... except the man was obviously of Asian decent. I think he took it as a racially motivated comment. If you knew my dad, you'd know he'd never make a racially motivated comment... he just doesn't think before he says things he thinks are funny. Fast forward to today. I eeked my way through life today. I'm tired. Very tired. And the receptionists at work asked me what I did to Amy today. I was like "Huh?" And they were like "Who's Amy? Is that your girlfriend?" And I was like "THAT'S NONE OF YOUR FRIGGIN' BUSINESS!" Actually, it was more along the lines of "She's my friend." But who's keeping track? "What did you do to her? Why was she crying when she called for you?" "She wasn't crying. She has strep throat." Then we all laughed and they bought me a drink at Jordan's. Except for that last part.
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