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Entry Wentry
Friday, Aug. 30, 2002 - 9:16 AM
I find babytalk unsavory. Research shows that babies that are talked to with babytalk learn to speak faster. My theory is that this is because they have a strong urge to say "Stop talking like that! You're my mom and you sound like a babbling idiot! What the freak is a dipey-wipey!?" And I hate it when moms call themselves mommy. I was watching an awards show not too long ago and Reese Witherspoon said, "Look, [her daughter's name], Mommy's got a [whatever award it was]." Would she have said, "Look, Tom, Plutonic Friend's got an award!" I don't think so. If I were an actress I'd want to have three names like Rachel Leigh Cook... Sarah Michelle Geller... and Brandi. Wait... scratch that Brandi part. But speaking of her, did you see her at the VMAs last night? Her knockers are markedly larger. I never notice things like that. This is how you can tell they were "markedly" larger. As I said that last night, I realized, "That's because she just had a baby, genius." I highly recommend having a baby to all ladies. At least one. So you, too, can have markedly larger knockers like Brandi. Not really. Breasts are like poems. There are beautiful small ones and beautiful large ones. There are also equally ugly small and large ones. I wish Kevin had gotten to my house in time to get coffee this morning.
Speak Up
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