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Slice of Life Death
Friday, Mar. 28, 2003 - 11:07 AM
Can someone explain to me why pizza's so bad for you? I was thinking the other day about how everyone says that pizza is the worst food you could possibly put through your digestive system. Then I thought about what pizza's made of and wondered how it could be possible that it was so bad for you. Consider the ingredients with me for just a moment here. Bread - Bread is low in salt, low in sugar, and I believe fat free. You never hear a doctor tell someone "Listen to me closely... if you don't cut bread from your diet, you won't be around in five years. I promise you." It's also low in calories. Bread obviously isn't the problem with pizza. Tomato sauce - Tomato sauce is made from... you guessed it... tomatoes. Tomatoes are a fruit that has been eaten for years for healthiness. Lately studies have shown that eating enough of the red pastes made from this fruit will lower you chances of "certain types of cancer". (That's what the commercials say. I think it's funny that they don't specifically say prostate cancer so that chicks think they need tomato sauce, too.) I realize that they put other herbs and such in this sauce, but obviously not enough to where there's an outcry from the medical field urging the public to stay away from spaghetti, baked ziti, or chicken parmesan. I think it's safe to conclude from this that the tomato sauce isn't the problem. Cheese - So the only thing we have left is the cheese. Cheese isn't as healthy as the others, I admit. It's higher in salt, calories, and fat. However, it's also high in calcium, vitamin D, and other needed minerals and vitamins. Besides that, you never hear anyone tell you that their doctor insisted they give up cheese for medical reasons. (Except for the lactose intolerant.) So what is it about these three ingredients when they get together? Evidently when these three get together they form a coalition of evil. After we get done with Iraq, perhaps we should have a war on pizza. (Latino accent in the stylings of Triumph the Insult Comic Dog:)A war where our ammo is our mouths! AH HA HA HA HA HA! Yeah, alright, that was lame.
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