|
Seasons Change
Saturday, May. 10, 2003 - 7:49 PM
I used to talk to a ton of people every (or at least nearly every) day. Today I have one person that I talk to every day and one person that I talk to almost every day. I've lost the others somewhere along the way. Some have begun to love the things that I hate. While memories of me are fresh in their mind, they do not wish to associate with me any longer. Contact lost. Illusion of freedom gained. Some have begun to hate the things that I love. I manage to penetrate the recesses of their minds, but for the most part I'm tossed in the corner of the closet and am only dealt with when it's absolutely necessary. These former friends pretend not to have animosity toward me, but when they see me the memories are like vinegar on a wound. They've decided that avoiding me is worth making up stories and alterior motives that were never there. They've convinced themselves of these things to the point where they feel completely comfortable in trying to convince others of the bad guy they've made me into in their twisted, distorted wasteland of a reality. Still others have maintained a semi-consistant fully cordial friendship with no substance whatsoever. Like the other groups of former friends, these are people that at one point told me everything, and unlike the other groups, told me "then some". Now I'm left in the dark and told fluffy, happy things and never the rest. I'm not sure how this happened. As far as I know I've not changed from the caring person I was when I met these folks. I've been through good and bad times with each of them. Yet, somehow my services are no longer desired. My friendship life (if there was such a thing) has been whittled down to a handful of people that still love, trust, and desire my friendship and a handful of acquaintances that still treat me with mild decency but that I somehow doubt I'll ever really get to know. It seems like the more I crave an emotionally intimate bond with those around me, the less I find myself to have. What happened? What changed? It wasn't me. Was it you?
Speak Up
< - Latest - Ex-entries - Pete's
Mom Index - CoffeeOrder - Notes - Email - >
|
