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The Return of Abby
Sunday, Sept. 28, 2003 - 11:30 PM
Wow. This was too strange not to clip and save. ABBY: I have been dating "Lowell" for more than a year. He's a college graduate with a professional job. We have begun talking marriage, and I am thrilled, but I have one concern: Lowell believes he is from another planet. When Lowell first mentioned it, I laughed and said, "I thought there was something different about you." The trouble is, he isn't joking! (This is ridiculous because his parents are alive, and I know he was born in Chicago.) Lowell insists that he is "special" and I should feel honored that he loves me. Last night was the final straw. He said it to my brother and his wife, and they looked at him as if he WAS from another planet. When we got back to my apartment we had a huge fight. I told him never to mention that ludicrous story again to anyone. He insists that if we are going to spend the rest of our lives together, I have to accept him for who he is. Abby, I love Lowell, but I can't have him telling our friends and family -- and our future children -- that he is from another galaxy. What should I do? -- NOT EASY BEING AN EARTH GIRL NOT EASY: I have heard of men who are "out of this world," but not in the sense that Lowell is trying to convey. Before discussing marriage any further, talk to Lowell's mother and find out how long he's been nursing this delusion. We all want to be "special," but your young man has taken it to an extreme. His insistence that you should feel "honored" that he loves you is another red flag. I often advise premarital counseling for couples who are considering marriage. In this case, it should be with a psychotherapist who can identify what Lowell's problem is before it becomes YOUR problem. If he refuses to go, my advice to you is to give him some "space."
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