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Midget Pants
Tuesday, Aug. 20, 2002 - 9:03 AM
At the risk of sounding like I watch too much Seinfeld, what's the deal with capri pants? I dislike them. I don't understand the need to have half of your calf exposed. It's too hot in the summer to do that. It's too cold in the winter. And it makes me a little intimidated. Because the only guy I've ever seen wearing something like this is Bruce Banner after he's just calmed down from being the Incredible Hulk. It looks as though you've outgrown your pants and cannot afford new ones. If this is the case, I have no problem with it. If this is not the case, please buy some pants that do not look like they were intended for someone 6" shorter than you. It's like the exact opposite of the guys that think they have to buy pants that are too large for them. If you lose your belt, it should not prevent you from going out in public for fear of being arrested for indecent exposure. I don't understand why these guys feel the need to emulate someone that just lost 75 lbs. and also cannot afford new pants. Maybe if you sold your silver plated wallet chain, you could afford some jeans your size. Maybe there are capris as a direct result of the manufacturers' conclusion that all women are shrinking. I haven't actually heard their report on this, but I know it must exist because not only do pant legs keep getting shorter, but shorts keep getting shorter as well -- to the point that I can tell what color thong you're wearing when you sit down (or not wearing in the case of Katie's friends). Did someone forget to tell me I was in a porno? In conclusion:
Why do women need to wear midget pants? Do they just really like the Incredible Hulk? How far up on the leg is far enough when you shave? And drink less milk so you can fit into the pants manufacturers are... well... manufacturing.
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