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Never Underestimate the Power of Soup (Part IV)
Wednesday, Oct. 23, 2002 - 1:32 PM
Never Underestimate the Power of Soup (Part IV) Link to Part I My large can opener finally arrived. I had bought it at largecanopenerstofendoffevilsoupcans.com earlier. They took a long time to ship. I got on my rubber boots and rain slicker and headed for the door. Today was the day that would be known as the day that the soup thugs had their last day for days to come. I brought my wallet, though, just in case. I carefully slipped my large can opener into my slicker. No one could tell I was concealing it. Except maybe my pants. Or my shirt. Or the slicker. Or anyone that actually looked at me. I walked to the door. It wasn't a normal walk, though, it was the kind of waddle you see in old Westerns when John Wayne is about to draw his weapon at high noon. Speaking of noon... it was noon. Huh. What do you know? Anyway, I waddled to the door. My hand crept slowly and vibrantly to the door knob. The knob had a cool, firey feel to it. Like cold coals in the midst of a hot flame. The sweat rolled off my back as it trickled down my spine and evaporated almost immediatly. "Days," I thought silently to no one in particular. Days. And then I did it. I. I stepped. I stepped out. I stepped out into the hallway. I stepped out into the hallway and then to the door leading outside. I stepped out into the hallway and then to the door leading outside with grace. I stepped out into the hallway and then to the door leading outside with a bumbled grace. And there they were. They were there. I saw them. They saw me. They formed the giant soup can again. They looked meaner than ever. And then I pulled it out. The large shiney can opener. The soup thugs boomed in unison as one body "OH, NO! HE'S GOT A CAN OPENER!" A smirk cralwed onto my face. There was silence. Then, a lone soup thug broke the silence. A small voice from the lower right hand corner of the large soup can. "You fools! We've ALL got can openers!" With that they disassembled and each brought out his switch-can opener. Once again, I ran. I ran inside. I ran inside and sat. I ran inside and sat to think. I ran inside and sat to think about how I was going to get past those soup thugs. << < >
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